Little bit by little bit.

His tool breaks and lands in the dumpster, his engineering calculator finds a shelf at the Goodwill, his Blu-ray disc shows up for sale on an app.  He keeps leaving me, though he left me, he keeps leaving me.  Taking a little bit more of my heart with him.

Just yesterday, his prize, his pride, his stereo sound system, the one he researched, custom built and installed for our room, and pleasured (or blasted) anyone needing a moment (or hour) of impression… was replaced.  “It’s so old, mom.  It doesn’t work anymore.  You need a new soundbar.”  You need new.

OK.

Little bit by little bit.

Tangled cables, disengaged speakers, a displaced TV unit, together with boxes and bubble wrap, directions and warranties, ties and seals, and one happy puppy smattered (or covered) my floor.  Old and new.  Billandme and… just me.

Little bit by little bit.

So today, my Bill’s stereo system, tossed in the trunk without care of damage, followed me to the electronic dump.  A cage of black, cracked and crushed, metal.  To which, with a silent prayer as if committing to the grave… again… the components were gently added.  I’m sorry Babe.

Little bit by little bit.

The empty trunk and heart and stomach followed me back home.  There goes another little bit.   Why does it sting so?

He keeps leaving me.  I keep letting go of old and adjusting to new.  Little bit by little bit.