Today marks 1 year in this new place, new house, new life, new start. Whoosh! I’m shaking my own hand, patting my own back. I have made it through a year. In honesty, it was a toughy. Don’t want to start over again.

On September 1, 2023, my boys packed a moving truck, a hunting truck and a trailer, drove caravan style, and arrived to a porch of willing, strong-backed church students. And a downpour. Being the only one with a key, I darted dry from car door, drenched to front door. Then, I directed traffic down halls and wiped mud off walls. Hadn’t done this in 35 years. Starting over.

Since Bill’s illness, my Bible reading practice gave way to God’s Bible reading practice — Holy Spirit led. On September 1st, I turned to Genesis 1 and resumed cover to cover practice. Starting over.

As a school director, I steered clear of social media wanting to avoid mistakes resulting in horrendous consequences I had witnessed. On September 1st, I opened a Facebook account. Woo. Starting.

A drive home from our kids’ home usually took a good 2 sleepy hours. The drive home on September 1st took 12 minutes. Twelve not-sleepy minutes. Thankful for this start over.

Since the move, there have been abuncha new starts. Roads, grocery store shelves, kitchen layout, doctors, community parks and baseball fields, not to mention the biggies… church, people, too much all-alone.

Starting over was suppose to be beside my Bill, but has been without my Bill. A year later, I am still struggling to start over. I imagine I will struggle for awhile. Starting a new life at mid-life is like balancing the exact middle of a teeter totter, feet spread apart to keep from tipping too far, but knowing it must tip and the walk must begin. I’ve discovered that the balance itself, before the tip, takes a minute… or a month… or a millennium. The tip begins with a sliding step. The walk begins only after a few stable steps. I’m still at the start, but I’m starting over and thankful to be this far.