Have you ever thought of marriage as an assignment? Assignments do not have the most appealing connotations. One might think of homework, a burdensome task at work, or a role on a committee.

But in the case of marriage, an assignment is first a calling. Calling — a desire to do the work. Assignment — work to do. Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life, taught me that God places desires within us. Then He assigns us.

“Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them” (Corinthians 7:17). God assigned me to be a wife to Bill, the best wife I could possibly be with His help. He assigned me to do my best work.

Now that I’m not married, I look at my married life so differently. There are a zillion teachers inherent in this assignment that I hadn’t considered well enough before. For example, arguments. Arguments prod our selfish nature and, if we allow them, bulldoze a hard-packed mound of pride. After the dirt crumbles and settles, the heart beds down on softer ground. Another example is perspective. Our vision extends only so far. A married partner takes you around the corner. Lessons from arguments and Bill’s perspective continue to instruct me.

Once upon a time Bill scolded me for throwing away, without shredding, a document containing identification information. I pooed pooed his over-protective self saying no one would search our stinky garbage. Well, the next morning, garbage day, as I opened our kitchen curtains, there he was. A stranger scrounging through the recycle bin. The very next morning! Good grief! I’m more than wrong. I am completely underground wrong. Afterward, Bill said nothing and I learned everything.

Of course married life means compromise, partnering, understanding, acceptance, service, — packaged with struggle, stumbling and setbacks. But oh to know someone better than anyone else in the world. To be assigned to care for, sacrifice for, learn from and love. Huge!

Assignment completed and turned in.

I miss my married life. I miss conflict! Is that crazy? I miss caring for a sick husband. That’s crazy. Ask me if I would accept the assignment again. Yes!