I was in school, those bedside days. I didn’t like it either. But my teacher, Mr. all-things-house-management, insisted that I learn while he was still employed. So I tucked my kick-and-scream down in, though it managed to lash out a couple times. If not lash, then at least mask my sweet face. And went to class. Attendance was required.

Electronic Bill Paying 101

This course began with a remedial unit — naming the bills. Of which, I don’t think I actually learned them all because many unnamed scary looking envelopes still land in my mailbox. I hide my eyes as I slit them open. I also swallow my gulps.

Files 102

This course covered drawer files, computer files, even wood files. Anything files should be labeled, dated, slotted, alphabetized and otherwise thoroughly organized. And no file gets tossed. Never. Ever. Ever. Which is why, I think, I couldn’t locate the files and nearly flunked the course.

Who to Call for What 103

This course required notes because there would be a test. Call David. He knows money and insurance. He’ll explain it all. I noted David. Call Scott. He knows construction. He’ll repair the roof. I scribbled Scott. Call Josh. He’ll help you move. I wrote down Josh. Um… notes get lost. So I got smart and added Bill’s contacts to my contacts. The list looks different than his: David Insurance Guy, Scott Handyman Guy, Josh Move Guy, Matt Mosquito Guy, Eric Heater Guy, Aaron Floor Guy, Conrad Contractor Guy, Mario Lawn Guy. Note-taking is a personal system.

The semester came to a close, but like all graduates, I was not fully prepared for my future. Not even close. Graduates really learn on the job. I value my teacher more than ever because this on-the-job-training has widened my eyes and especially my appreciation of his know-how. I recall the tough lessons, I still hear his instructive voice, I remember the practice sessions. I didn’t like them then. I’m so so thankful now. He gave everything to get his pupil ready for the real world.

School’s out. Forever.